In this life...❥

this is it.

do NOT ask me what i got[gonna get]

i know i'll be a disappointment.

and i am seriously not being negative.

just truthful.. =/

seriously.. 

its hard enuff living each day knowing i'd be ashamed of myself coz i did not even try to do my best..

just now i had dinner with my mum n siblings..

but then as i watched my mum,

 its easy to change all her expression into the ones when she gets upset n mad...

u see...  i get those alot nowadays bcoz i havent been very good... :(

i know that n im sorry..

anyways i used to tell ppl whats done is done n we all always have second chances..

they just come in dfrent forms during dfrent stages in life..

i think i used mine.. hmm

i dunno who i can turn to now coz nobody can ever help me when im like this..

all negative n such..

so u dun have to try.. save ur temper :)

 i guess i'll stick to what ive always done..

put on a smile as best as i can and just face the world with the dread inside..

that sounds sad..

but i guess truths are always dark..

reality can never be pleasant.

thats y sumtimes i just refuse to face it..

always hanging on to the thought that sumhow there's a brighter side to reality..

always waiting n hoping in vain..

sigh.

i miss my boyfriend.